Two Strategies To Watch Out For During Divorce Negotiations

It's easy to come out of a divorce negotiation session feeling you have achieved your objectives while in the real sense you haven't. This is possible if you aren't skilled or experienced in the strategies employed by your opponent. Here are two particularly cunning strategies to watch out for:

Trollope Ploy

To execute a Trollope ploy, your partner makes a mildly unfair demand that he or she suspects you will not immediately agree to. When you reject the proposal, he or she follows up with an extremely unfair demand that he or she is sure you cannot accept. This ploy is meant to make you choose between the two demands, and accept the mildly unfair one. If you refuse, then you come across as being unfairly combative and difficult to deal with.

Consider an example in which you own a family home and business, and the latter is slightly more valuable than the home. Your partner may demand you relinquish your stake in a family business in exchange for his or her share of the home. If you decline, then he or she may propose that he or she can give you his or her prized sports car (a depreciating asset) instead. You may find yourself agreeing to your partner's first demand, so you aren't perceived as difficult.

Brer Rabbit

In the Brer Rabbit tactic, your partner bluffs that he or she prefers option one and two while suggesting that option three is the last resort if he or she cannot get the first two options. However, your partner's real objective is to get option three. This works if your partner knows you want to frustrate him or her by denying his or her demands. You then decide to give your partner option three, which in reality is what he or she wanted all along.

Take an example where you have a family home, a vacation home, and a thriving business. Also, suppose your partner favors the business but knows you won't give it to him or her if he or she asks for it directly. He or she may ask for the vacation home or the family home, but appear willing to "settle" for the business. You then find yourself giving your partner the business and feeling satisfied that you have denied him or her what she wanted, but, in reality, you have satisfied his or her desire.

As you can see, it's easy to lose ground needlessly if you don't know what you are doing. This is one more reason you should lawyer up before entering divorce negotiations, especially if you suspect your partner is a skilled negotiator. The lawyer is more likely to be skilled and aware of these tactics than you. For more information on divorce negotiations, contact a lawyer, such as Gruber & Associates, PC.   

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